12 October 2016

Flashbacks Revisited

I have a number of friends who served in Vietnam. One thing that seems to be a common thread for all of them is their inability to rid themselves of flashbacks — a sudden recall of the past that feels so real it’s as if they were transported back to the scene. Some flashbacks are of war atrocities, others are a living terror beyond my comprehension, while still others are sweet memories of people who were freed or rescued. . . .

The fact of the matter is that many of us in a career transition suffer from our own set of paralyzing flashbacks. Although they aren’t war-related, they are just as real and debilitating. Most of the time they sneak up on us in the form of fear, rejection or inadequacy.

I confess this is an area I still struggle with. I often suffer from flashbacks of the fear and anxiety associated with the day I was terminated. . . .The result is always the same — the pain is revisited. It hurt inside when I experienced my first flashback, and it continues to hurt every time one hits.

While reading 1 John 4:18, it occurred to me that the deeper, underlying problem I wrestle with is fear. Fear of revisiting the past. Fear of having to relive all of the tough times. I know in my head that the Lord has closed the door to the past. So why am I still dwelling on it? The answer is that I haven’t embraced the promise that “perfect love drives out fear” — in my heart. It’s like I’m living my life waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Now when I experience a fear-producing flashback, I remind myself that “fear has to do with punishment” and that “there is no fear in love.” Furthermore, I focus on the fact that I have been and am well loved by Jesus, and I know the Lord would not rub my face in my fears. That leaves only one option as to the source of these flashbacks: The devil would just love for me to dwell on the sorrows of the past and to take my mind off of the love and grace I have in Christ. This is why Peter, who knew something about fear and regret (remember how he denied Jesus), warns, “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8).

Are you wresting with flashbacks that wound so deeply that you find yourself unable to face the day? Are flashbacks of your termination neutralizing your will and your confidence to approach another potential employer? If so, it’s time to call upon the Lord once again, because he alone gives you and me the strength to resist the devil. Then praise the Lord that his perfect love drives out all of our fears.

Taken from Why Did I Lose My Job if God Loves Me?

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my experience...

in May2007 my job was eliminated by technology.

i was so devastated that i told no one until just before it happened. for the next 5 years i withdrew from trying anything new. i did not want that rejection again. it didn't help that i was insecure about myself already.

when i finally did "come out it", i was rejected for jobs i new i could do by employers telling me i was "over qualified". eventually, i gave up looking. 

God, thru His Spirit, directed me to crochet which i had learned as a child. i now have been crocheting for a few years with no real encouragement except from my mom. in fact, she is the one that paid for my first real craft fair. for that i am thankful. i still need to get my props made to display what i have made.

so now, i await the day of the craft fair with mixed emotions trusting God to help me in this new experience.

Mimosa Lane Baptist Church, Mesquite, Texas is the location of the craft fair. if u can, stop by on November 12, 2016 to browse the different "shops" and enjoy the day. u just might find that one gift u really need.