no weapon formed against me will come to flesh. y? becuz the weapon is already destroyed. i stand in victory lookin' my Messiah in the eye and holdin' the head of my enemy.
Adonai is my protector. Yeshua is my word. by his name alone, all weapons formed against must fail and all words spoken against me will rickashay back to the enemy destroying him. the joy of Adonai causes all of the enemies stuff and words to become null and void.
recently i struggled with finding my joy. i know joy is something that comes from deep within. something else comes from deep within as well - sadness - especially sadness from losin' someone u love. it matters not whether by death or divorce or estrangement, it's still losin' someone. the enemy knew how i felt about my father's passing. the enemy knew how i felt about losin' my marriage. he has been using it against me and i let him: for a while. little by little God's word snuck in and i would feel deep joy. but becuz i was still entertaining the wrong thoughts, i could hold on to the joy and keep it. no matter what i did.
then a thought occured to me as i listened to the story of how Paul had "a thorn" that would keep him from gettin' all puffed up. as i pondered on Paul's "thorn", Adonai showed me glimpses of how sadness was a stronghold in me for a long time. he told me that i would have bear it as Paul bore his. becuz i, too, am driven to my Adonai every time. and like Paul, i am kept from gettin' puffed up. i have to be determined that each time deep sadness tries to overtake me, i must sing a sacrifice of joy to my Adonai. for it is my Adonai that will cause my deep joy to overthrow the sadness and refocus.
i have experienced a lot this past year. and i know my Adonai has something very special for on the way. so i know that findin' and keepin' the joy planted deep within me is key to me experiencin' all my Adonai has for me. the struggles i face and live thru will help me help others. my sadness becomin' joyous triumph will light the way for others. my weaknesses will strengthen my joy becuz of my relationship with Yeshua. his sadness only lasted for a short time. his obedience allowed the joy to stick within him and now his joy is complete. my joy within comes from knowin' Yeshua as my Messiah and Yahweh as my Adonai. Pastor Toby said it true and clear that Yeshua's joy was in seein' me love him and know him.
everything Yeshua did was becuz of the joy set before him. i am his joy. u r his joy. our sadness tho deep and painful becomes joy when placed in Messiah's hands. even tho sad, a joy that comes from deep within dispells the deep sadness as i, we, focus on the joy set before us. do not look behind. do not look to either side. do not contemplate "what if ...". these steel away the joy subtly. keep lookin' at the prize like Paul and the others did. remember who lived it out in perfect obedience even to death. we, i, too can follow Yeshua in this. tho my "death" may be layin' aside myself and doin' the next right thing. that's all Yeshua did. what he saw Abba do, he did. Yahweh always does the next right thing.
the hardest thing for me was what it cost me. but i no longer count it as loss. i count it as gain. i gained myself when i let myself go. i found myself when i died. i gained everything worth havin' when i counted the cost, looked at Yeshua, and walked away from me. the process of findin' me, learnin' who i am, and knowin' to whom i now belong has not been a cake walk. most times i wad kickin' and screamin', defiant and down right awnery. but Adonai just kept on workin'. and today i am who i am becuz i know whose i am. the journey is far from over. so much ustill live out but i need not worry. my joy cones in knowin' i am Yahweh's special girl and he loves me.
