everlasting gobstopper

 

have u ever wondered y the things promised by God do not come to their fullest fulfillment?

have u ever wondered y things just don't happen like u hoped?

 

let me share what was brought to my attention as I sat eating my simple bowl of rice with a bit ketchup, spices, and avocado. this is something I had not seen before.

 

sitting at the bar in my daughter's house eating my meal for the day, I listened to the end of a movie called "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory". the movie had reached the final scene where Charlie and Grandpa Joe were the only ones left so they believed they had won the grand prize. and they should have but for one small detail they thought no one knew about.

as Willy Wonka told them farewell, he was not very excited. in fact, he was upset and frustrated. when Grandpa Joe asked what Charlie had won, Wonka said that he won nothing. Y? becuz the two of them had taken swigs of the fizzy lifting drinks after being told not to. their one disobedient/rebel action caused Charlie to be disqualified. but they didn't know that.

close to the beginning of the movie, each child was approached by a man named Slugworth. each of the five children that got a golden ticket were told they would be well compensated if they gave him the 'Everlasting Gobstopper'. so when Wonka gave the four children one, it was a test.

so when Charlie was read the agreement he signed by Wonka, he sadly understood but Grandpa Joe said to Charlie that Slugworth can have the Gobstopper. Charlie stopped at the door, reached into his pocket and looked at the candy. he then placed it on the desk Wonka was sitting at. Wonka gently placed his left hand over the candy and called out "U won! Charlie, u won!"

 

if u have ever seen that movie with Gene Wilder in it, u know it was a movie with lots of good stuff in it. now I want to share what Daddy told me as I was eating my rice.

 

the Gobstopper represents the 'easy way'. each of those four children were given one. 'easy way' seems really good even after seeing all u could have if u worked hard and did things the right way. each child represented something in the world. and each child was eliminated becuz they couldn't resist their one stronghold. but Charlie did not seem to have a stronghold. in fact, it was his Grandpa Joe who encouraged him to take a swig. Charlie didn't know what he wanted or where he might go.

when the time came to receive the prize, the prize was diminished. secret sin or secret disobedience or secret anything is known to God. when Charlie chose to give back the Gobstopper, he was acknowledging the wrong and letting go of what could have been. that Gobstopper could have gotten him a lot of money that would take care of his family for a long time. but he chose to do the right thing. he let go of what could have been sweet for a while for living the right way, honestly. living honestly with integrity means more than all the money in the world. getting things the 'easy way' ends up being the hard way becuz you're always looking over your shoulder and you're never satisfied.

when Charlie placed that candy on Wonka's desk, a change happened.

Wonka placed his hand gently on the candy and proclaimed him the winner. u have to let go of the 'easy way' or yourself and follow God regardless of how hard it may be for u or me.

 

I am incapable of making anything that God showed happen. it has to be ALL God. this includes me dropping what I think should happen or not happen. this includes me placing myself completely and totally into his very capable hands and plan.

I cannot see all that God has for me. all I really see is what I am losing and the fact that I have never walked this path before without my husband. I see that I am alone. I see I have no job, even the "menial types".

 

Wonka called Charlie back to him and took him to the Wonkavator. it went out the glass enclosure to fly above the chocolate factory. U see, Charlie had made the right choice by not keeping that one candy. it was nice and would have lasted quite a while but Charlie would never have gotten the fullness of the prize.

letting go of what I am holding onto is what God wants. he wants to take that 'easy way' and make it the right way. God's way is not always seen as the 'easy way' cuz of all the troubles, hardships and stuff he takes us thru. that's becuz God wants us to be just like his Son, Jesus. he doesn't want us carrying all that baggage that keeps us back from experiencing the fullness of everything God wants to give us here. Oh to have that kind of faith!

 

the fullness of what God wants me to have comes in giving up the 'easy way' and surrendering myself to live, walk, and be an example of honest integrity. all the time I have been walking this path, God has told me one thing: TRUST ME. it's scary to trust when u don't know where u will be, how u will pay your bills, or eat. it's scary, very scary. all I hear God say is "TRUST ME".

 

 

God sees me?

have u ever wondered if God sees u?

have u ever experienced being invisible in a crowd?

have u ever tried to be seen?

these questions have been part of my life for a long time. i have wondered, experienced, and tried to be. there is no reason y i should think God sees me if no one else does. i want to tell u about my journey to seeing myself thru the eyes of a God that sees and loves me so very much. this God has many names, but this one i only just learned today from an email i receive daily from First Things First by Christine Caine.

El Roi

God has not forgotten u. Philippians 4:19

when i read this, i did not notice the two words El Roi in the upper right hand corner. i had read this thru out the day for encouragement but did not notice it until it was time for the baseball game this afternoon. opening day for the season. so i looked up the meaning of the two words El Roi.

i typed in the two words and up came the info i was looking for. i clicked on the Wiki link and was taken aback. here is what i read:

El Roi

Hebrew

one of the names of God in Hebrew Bible.

commonly translated "the God who sees me", both descriptive epithet for God using the word "El" (God) and a modifier indicating a quality of God.

first mentioned in Genesis 16:13 by Hagar.

as i read this, i completely identified with Hagar. Hagar had become contentious since she was pregnant. Sarai treated Hagar harshly causing her to run away. Hagar had been wandering in the desert and  finally cried out to God and God responded to her outcry. she was running away from unfair treatment. as she sat by a well God visited her and told her to name her child, a son, Ishmael. this name means God hears. Hagar names the well God spoke with her, Beer-lahai-roi, which means "well of the Living One who sees me" (Genesis 16:14).

i am one that has been quiet when i am in a crowd. i learned at a very early age that my voice was not to be heard. so most of my heart crying is done privately. when i have ideas, i speak to people i know but most of the time it's done with no one else around. i wondered regularly if anyone really cared or even saw me.

my current situation has caused me to take a long, no-holds-barred, look at myself. i had found that i am in need of help when it comes to believing in myself. my low self-esteem caused me to cower and internalize everything. i blamed myself and took the blame whether or not it was mine. i was usually blamed for it anyway. i had to really look at who i was. when i did that, i was made free. the struggle is now all in my mind. so i have been filling my mind with God's word. God's word tells me how much i am loved and how to overcome the enemy's suggestions.

well, now i am facing the most challenging situation i have ever faced. something i have never faced alone. i began wondering if God remembered me or even cared anymore. my faith was faltering but i only have one person i can go to cuz he has never left me. he is the only one that has never abandoned me. so i read in his word how much he cares, and loves, and is proud of me. God has continually reminded me that all he wants me to do is: TRUST HIM. believe me, at first it was easy but now, i find it difficult. just the other day i was reminded not to give up or give in. i questioned God y haven't been able to get the most menial job or have someone that wants to hang out with me. i literally cried out to him in frustration and hurt and deep pain becuz of my current situation. i feel completely alone and unseen by God. i know deep down that i am NOT alone. even when i am crying out to him, he reminds that he is right here, keep trusting him and walking in faith believing that he will do what he promised. it has been real hard cuz i have not seen anything in what God has said would come to be.

i have to say this: my pastor is a good example in being patient and walking in faith. he's a quiet man with strong convictions he actually lives out. unless he is preaching, he doesn't say much. but i have sensed a deep peace that resonates thru out his entire being. and when he preaches/shares he speaks with a conviction of been there, done that. his example has encouraged me to keep moving forward.

so i battle myself in my mind. it's so hard. then i read this today. God sees me. but u know what i said? "do u really see me?" "y can't i get the most menial-type job?" "y am i being "thrown away" again?" "what have i done so wrong, again?" 

know what God said? "TRUST ME." yep! that's what he said. so guess what? i am trusting him even tho i am scared. i feel i am at the bottom of the abyss cuz i can barely lift my head and see the distant lite of tunnel's opening. something that Hagar did after she spoke with God was obey him by returning to Sarai and submitted. as i am not goin' back to someone, i will submit and obey my Lord.

u see, i know God can do what he says personally. the problem i am having is that i have not yet seen anything he said would happen. waiting is so hard when u know that u know God said something. all Daddy wants me to do is trust him. if i can make it to the finish line, then i will receive the promise. and believe me, only God can make this happen. i just can't give up or give in. i am growing my faith. i am growing my life relationship with Christ Jesus and God. reading that God sees me has encouraged me. maybe, just maybe, God will see to all my needs: job, physical, financially, and spiritually. i can keep following my leader in the great unknown of God's amazing GRACE.

God does really see me. he gave me a beautiful peace in the midst of my storm within. he hears my heart's cry. Father forgive me for my unbelief and help me in my unbelief.

And this same God who takes care of me will supply all my needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to me in Christ Jesus.

~Philippians 4:19 NLT (personalized)

ASK ME

19 March 2019

RICK WARREN'S DAILY DEVOTIONAL

Jeremiah 33:3 NLT

Ask me and I will tell you remarkable secrets you do not know about things to come.

God Knows Your Future

It's interesting to me the things people will try in order to figure out what's going to happen next: astrology, horoscopes, reading tea leaves, consulting with people, bio-rhythms.

But they're going to the wrong source because the only one who knows what's going to happen next is God.

The Bible says He's able to be in the past, the present, and the future all at the same time. That should give us great confidence in God. He not only knows about the future, He's there in the future. He not only walks with us day-by-day, He can also walk in our future.

If I know that God knows all my tomorrows - today -- then I should ask for advice. The things you don't know, God can tell you about. He's not going to lay out your whole life all at once, telling you everything that will happen in your life. If He did, you'd likely get very discouraged or prideful or both. Instead, He gives it to you a little bit at a time.

Here's what I'd suggest, when you get up in the morning, go over your schedule with the Lord. Pray, "Father, You've already seen this day that I'm about to experience. Tell me the things that are important today and then help me to focus on them."


my thoughts:
so I am in a situation that is requiring me to completely trust God, walk in faith, and walk by faith. I have struggled coming to this place in my life. in fact, I lost the joy I had when Daddy told me some very special things he would be doin'. I struggled so much that my joy completely disappeared. I once again felt isolated, abandoned, and alone. I let thoughts of despair and depression come in. some I entertained and others I flat out threw out. God's word was always there. I even had difficulty holding on to God's promises and staying mounted so I could travel on this adventure.
I am now leaving my past in the past and packing up the old memories until God needs them to help someone else. believe me, I am so unsure about my future, I have to remind myself to take it one day at a time. I ask Daddy for the strength I need to get thru every minute as I ride this journey with him. so much joy is ahead of me and I need to keep Jesus as my focus and let Holy Spirit be my joy. I need that joy to be my strength so I can live just today.
at the moment, I am walking a similar road that I lived with for over 30 yrs with my husband where I am living now. it's a struggle to walk this again. but Daddy is still keeping me and working out the ugly in me. IT HURTS!! my faith has been rocked. my faith is being stretched. my hope is becoming firmer in Christ my Savior. my hope is growing in Christ as well. all this Daddy is walking thru with me again. he is tweaking my faith and hope to line up completely with his word. this is not easy as I am having to let go of many things. in the place of all that Daddy is removing, he is putting his character, giving me his heart, letting me share all that he is doin' in my life. I am much stronger tho I do not feel like I am. tho I am still tentative in areas, I know I can trust and know that my faith in God will not be void.
I have asked God to give me wisdom, understanding so I can make the right life choices and follow with peace knowing I am on the right path. Daddy's written word is a good instruction book with lots of encouragement and love pouring out of the written word.
as I live today and do my best to live the written word of God in my life today, I will continue to ask, seek, and knock cuz I need all the help I can get. I'm not God and I need his help.
in Matthew 7:7, 8 "Keep on asking, and u will receive what  u ask for. Keep on seeking, and u will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to u. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. so that is what I am doin'. I need to keep askin', seekin', and knockin'. I am promised answers and God has always answered. the hardest part of him answerin' is that waitin' is involved most of the time. in that waitin', is where I struggle and where God does his best work.
DO NOT GIVE UP! DO NOT GIVE IN! the answer is right there. keep askin', seekin', and knockin'. as I do all of these, I am learnin' to rest and breathe and be thankful and content. this brings peace. it also brings a quiet knowing that God is.

Grieving is good

 

14 March 2019

today I read something from Rick Warren's Daily Hope. it shared how grieving is good and how grieving allows me to let the loss, hurt, abandonment, and pain go.

 

from Daily Hope with Rick Warren:

Grief is not bad. It's the way we get thru the transitions of life. What is bad is the unprocessed grief. If I don't grieve, I get stuck emotionally, and I spend the rest of my life reacting to something that happened a long time ago. That's unhealthy!

 

my thoughts:

in Psalm 34:18 I am reminded that God is close to the brokenhearted. But when I am in the pain of the situation, I do not always "feel" God there. in fact, I think he is long gone and so far that there is no way he can be anywhere close to me. but Daddy is right there with me Psalm 147:3 says he is healing me.

 

from Daily Hope with Rick Warren:

Let God restore your soul by doing three things:

 

- Trust the Good Shepherd to forgive my sins. Romans 3:23, 24 says, "All of us have sinned and fallen short of God's glory. But God treats us much better than we deserve, and because of Christ Jesus, he freely accepts us and sets us free from our sins" (CEV)

 

- Release my offenders, and focus on the future. My soul cannot be restored until I let go of resentment. "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from u, along with all malice ... forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave u" (Ephesians 4:31, 32 ESV)

 

- Team up with Jesus to carry my burdens. When I am yoked up with Jesus, I don't have to bear my burden alone: "Come to me, all of u who r weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give u rest. Take my yoke upon u. Let me teach u, becuz I am humble and gentle at heart, and u will find rest for your souls. for my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give u is light" (Matthew 11:28-30 NLT)

 

Talk It Over

• Is there a loss that I have failed to grieve? How has it affected me physically, emotionally, and spiritually?
• What does it mean to have your soul restored?
• Why do I think God often feels far away when I am at my lowest point? What do I think he wants me to do when I feel like that?

my thoughts:

I want to focus on Why do I think God often feels far away when I am at my lowest point? and What do I think he wants me to do when I feel like that?

 

Why do I think God often feels far away when I am at my lowest point?

as I say here thinking about this question I immediately knew the answer. I can't see passed the end of my nose. in other words, all I see is the pain, abandonment, hurt, loss. I feel all alone and no one can help.

so Daddy showed me how he is holding me in his arms, pressing me up against his chest with my ear to his heartbeat. but I am not hearing the heartbeat or feeling his arms, at the time. all I see and hear is the pain, deep sadness, loneliness, and hurt. oh the pain! oh the hurt! the disbelief comes in and I am overwhelmed with all the thoughts of y? what am I gonna do now? how am I gonna live? God, where r u?

from the beginning of my grieving, Daddy has been there.

I have walked this for a few years now. I am only understanding that I am not alone.

 

What do I think he wants me to do when I feel like that?

let Daddy know I cannot feel his arms holding me against his chest so I can hear his heartbeat and his grief becuz I am grieving. be very real with God and let him know how much I am hurting. let him know.

but don't stay there, I need to let God be God and help me thru the grieving process. I need to reach out and let God use people so I can heal and grow again.

 

grieving is a natural process we all go thru no matter what the grieving is about. change is part of every day life. with change comes grief. let the change come and then when grieving is involved, walk thru it. DO NOT HOLD IT IN!







MY BATTLE CRY

02 March 2019

i have decided to make this my battle cry. my enemy is working overtime to defeat me. the "danger zone" Pastor Paula Abbott shared about a couple Sunday's past is exactly where i am at. i have to get to the other side. my life depends on it.

Psalm 17:3-5, 15 MSG

Go ahead, examine me from inside out, surprise me in the middle of the night— You’ll find I’m just what I say I am. My words don’t run loose. I’m not trying to get my way in the world’s way. I’m trying to get your way, your Word’s way. I’m staying on your trail; I’m putting one foot In front of the other. I’m not giving up.

And me? I plan on looking you full in the face. When I get up, I’ll see your full stature and live heaven on earth.

Psalm 139:1-6, 23-24 MSG

GOD, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand. I’m an open book to you; even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking. You know when I leave and when I get back; I’m never out of your sight. You know everything I’m going to say before I start the first sentence. I look behind me and you’re there, then up ahead and you’re there, too— your reassuring presence, coming and going. This is too much, too wonderful— I can’t take it all in!

Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I’m about; See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong— then guide me on the road to eternal life.

look at these two chapters and the verses. very similar don't u think? i have been praying Psalm 139:23, 24 for the past 2 yrs. and Daddy has done exactly what i have asked him to do. now, it's time for me to walk it out.

as i stated at the beginnin', i am making Psalm 17:3-5, 15 my battle cry cuz i'm gonna win! my enemy is defeated!