25 October 2016

in my morning devotions, this hit me like never b4.

Galatians 5:25 (NASB)

If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.

LASB Devotional:

God is interested in every part of our lives, not just the spiritual part. As we live by the Holy Spirit's power, we need to submit every aspect of our lives to God-emotional, physical, social, intellectual, vocational. Paul says that because we're saved, we should live like it! The Holy Spirit is the source of your new life, so keep in step with his leading. Don't let anything or anyone else determine your values and standards in any area of your life.

when i was young, i was the one no one wanted to have on their team. i was always made fun of, left out, and ignored. it was for no other reason than i held back my bowel movements. it would leak out even tho i tried to keep it in, so my undies were stained. many times i had to go thru the day smelling like that. it wasn't until God healed me that i started to be included somewhat. and then many years later i learned it was becuz of my dad's impatience that i had done that. and then it became a type of security blanket that i had no idea how to let go of.

it took me a long time to let all of that hurt go. i am now a nana and living a life filled with love and acceptance. God has most definitely helped me overcome the insecurities, hurt, loneliness all of that caused. i found out first hand how much God wants to be part of my everyday life.

now He and i have a good relationship and i am learning something about Him everyday. He in turns takes time to love me throughout the day as well as speak with me. it has been a journey. one that i am glad to walk with my Saviour and Father.

until next time...

SEARCH ME

the following r my thoughts on a scripture that has made a very large impact in  my life. i pray this often so i can let God clean out anything that keeps His passion from being made flesh in my life. i pray that it comes alive as u read it so u can be cleansed by the blood covering of Christ Jesus and silence the accuser.

Psalm 139:23-24 NASBS

[23] Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; [24] And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way.

remember to live a life surrendered to God. be open to God so He can make flesh His passion in my life.

"search me" ~ allow God to search thru the many rooms in my life. we all have at least one room that we keep hidden from everyone, even God.

this room is usually filled with the stuff that holds us back from really living. it definitely filters everything i do, say, think, and act out.

"know my heart" ~ find out who i am.

often times we don't really know who we r ourselves. and that comes from that one room we hide from everyone.

in order for us to know who we really r, God needs to search thru that room and remove everything that holds us back from finding out.

"try me" ~ make judgement on what God finds in me.

allow God to judge whether the stuff He finds is worth keeping or throwing out.

"know my anxious thoughts" ~ be willing to let God see how scared i really am.

my fears r real. all i have to go on is past experience which causes anxious thoughts. not knowing also causes this. however, surrendering to God these anxious thoughts opens me up to God's calming peace.

"see if there be any hurtful way in me" ~ am i out for revenge? do i want to 'get back at the one who caused me the hurt'?

God will expose this.

i need to be willing to forgive. forgiveness is the key that starts the healing of the hurt that holds us back. God will do only what i allow Him to do. it is up to me to let Him do what He does best.

now all that is needed is for u to "face the Judge", ask for the blood covering of the Lamb so He can render His verdict. once that is done, ask God to make flesh His passion in your life.

one other thing, prayer becomes much more real as u see God answering in ways u have not experienced before. it's becuz u have silenced the accuser in Court of Heaven. 

daily battle

Galatians 5:16-18 MSG

“My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit. Then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don’t you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?”
http://bible.com/97/gal.5.16-18.msg

12 October 2016

Flashbacks Revisited

I have a number of friends who served in Vietnam. One thing that seems to be a common thread for all of them is their inability to rid themselves of flashbacks — a sudden recall of the past that feels so real it’s as if they were transported back to the scene. Some flashbacks are of war atrocities, others are a living terror beyond my comprehension, while still others are sweet memories of people who were freed or rescued. . . .

The fact of the matter is that many of us in a career transition suffer from our own set of paralyzing flashbacks. Although they aren’t war-related, they are just as real and debilitating. Most of the time they sneak up on us in the form of fear, rejection or inadequacy.

I confess this is an area I still struggle with. I often suffer from flashbacks of the fear and anxiety associated with the day I was terminated. . . .The result is always the same — the pain is revisited. It hurt inside when I experienced my first flashback, and it continues to hurt every time one hits.

While reading 1 John 4:18, it occurred to me that the deeper, underlying problem I wrestle with is fear. Fear of revisiting the past. Fear of having to relive all of the tough times. I know in my head that the Lord has closed the door to the past. So why am I still dwelling on it? The answer is that I haven’t embraced the promise that “perfect love drives out fear” — in my heart. It’s like I’m living my life waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Now when I experience a fear-producing flashback, I remind myself that “fear has to do with punishment” and that “there is no fear in love.” Furthermore, I focus on the fact that I have been and am well loved by Jesus, and I know the Lord would not rub my face in my fears. That leaves only one option as to the source of these flashbacks: The devil would just love for me to dwell on the sorrows of the past and to take my mind off of the love and grace I have in Christ. This is why Peter, who knew something about fear and regret (remember how he denied Jesus), warns, “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8).

Are you wresting with flashbacks that wound so deeply that you find yourself unable to face the day? Are flashbacks of your termination neutralizing your will and your confidence to approach another potential employer? If so, it’s time to call upon the Lord once again, because he alone gives you and me the strength to resist the devil. Then praise the Lord that his perfect love drives out all of our fears.

Taken from Why Did I Lose My Job if God Loves Me?

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my experience...

in May2007 my job was eliminated by technology.

i was so devastated that i told no one until just before it happened. for the next 5 years i withdrew from trying anything new. i did not want that rejection again. it didn't help that i was insecure about myself already.

when i finally did "come out it", i was rejected for jobs i new i could do by employers telling me i was "over qualified". eventually, i gave up looking. 

God, thru His Spirit, directed me to crochet which i had learned as a child. i now have been crocheting for a few years with no real encouragement except from my mom. in fact, she is the one that paid for my first real craft fair. for that i am thankful. i still need to get my props made to display what i have made.

so now, i await the day of the craft fair with mixed emotions trusting God to help me in this new experience.

Mimosa Lane Baptist Church, Mesquite, Texas is the location of the craft fair. if u can, stop by on November 12, 2016 to browse the different "shops" and enjoy the day. u just might find that one gift u really need.

01 October 2016

this really stood out to me.

in fact, it smacked me right in the face.

God gave me His answer.

i have been wondering y our situation has to carry on over the holidays and into next year. this is what i believe to be God answering me.
building my faith is important to God and for some reason, i am in need of something that i hope to figure out as i wait. patience is something is something i have to live with every day. so the full reasoning of needing more patience is not yet clear to me. i will let God do His thing as i will be willing to learn and live out His work in me.
What else can i do? nothing else will give me any satisfication.

the following is taken from one of my devotions: CELEBRATE!

Numbers 13:30  (NIV) -

Then Caleb silenced the people before Moses and said, 

“We should go up and take possession of the land, 

for we can certainly do it.”

Patience and Faith 

Caleb saw the same giants and walled cities as the other spies, but the ten spies brought back a “bad report” of unbelief. Caleb, however, declared a conviction, a confession, before all Israel: “We are well able to overcome it.” He along with the others had carefully surveyed the land; he had seen, so his faith was not blind. Faith does not deny the reality of the difficulty; rather, it declares the power of God in the face of the problem. 

Though his faith-filled report was rejected by the majority, Caleb stood his ground in faith, but still moved in partnership and support alongside those whose unbelief delayed his own experience. He demonstrated a remarkable combination of faith and patience. Caleb’s eventual possession of the land at a later date indicates that even though delays come, the declaration of faith will ultimately bring victory to the believer. 

Let patience and faith work together to see you through the struggle and into the fulfillment of the promise.