where i am

 this is where i am right now. how do i know this is where i am right now? my fleshly me is wanting to "shut down" and do things my way. but i have been practicing a new way of doin' things. and this new way is much better.

in my bathroom, i have a shower curtain i see everyday. it has 4 scriptures on it:

Philippian 4:11; Psalm 9:1; Ecclesiastes 11:9; Philippians 4:4.

each of these scriptures r reminders to me that all i need to do is be content where i am becuz there is joy and happiness to be found in the waiting. and there r times that this requires me to apply each specific promise from God to me in every aspect of my life. when i see "nothing happening" there is actually something happening i can't see with my physical eyes. in the waiting is my training to seeing what God sees. he is training my eyes to not move away from his eyes. his eyes then become my thoughts and my victory. as i go about my day, God's eyes begin to strengthen my hands and my legs to stand more firmly on the Rock of Yeshua.

as i stand on the Rock of Yeshua, i find myself able to resist my fleshly yearnings and desires. God's Word and promises begin to be made flesh. and these promises r at first unseen by the physical eyes. the promises cause me to line up more acutely and accurately with Yeshua. i walk taller, more confident. i am not afraid to let go and let God be God no matter what people say or think. my thoughts and life r more solidly established on the cornerstone of Messiah.

my life is far from perfect. i still struggle. i still have "my days". i still need encouragement and help. one thing i have learned is that my story is not my own. it is God's story. no matter what it contains in the past, God already knows. he allowed it all to happen and now i don't worry about it. i am not the one who can judge rightly and fairly someone else. my story will make a difference and God wants me to live it out loud becuz it is his love story thru me.

 

Ecclesiastes 11:3, 4 (MSG)

When the clouds r full of water, it rains. When the wind blows down a tree, it lies where it falls. Don't sit there watching the wind. Do your own work. Don't stare at the clouds. Get on with your life.

when i read these words, i was struck by how true they r. 

in the last few months, i have gone thru a whirlwind of change. and each step i went thru, i learned something new about myself. i learned the most important lesson of how much God really does love me thru being obedient willingly. the more willing became, the more God revealed himself. and even tho the clouds were still hovering over me, God's blessings were falling thru a little at a time.

each step i have seen the hand of God move in me. He has opened doors i thought were shut. i have seen a strength in me i didn't know i had. each step strengthened my legs and feet. my arms and hands r becoming stronger. i found out that Sandi can stand tall and live free.

today, i tried something new. i quite enjoy it. the sense of accomplishment is both satisfying and joyful for me. i can do what i put my mind to do. the blessings come flowing down in many different ways. the biggest one for me is being sure of what God has promised will be made flesh. i just keep putting one foot in front of the other doing the next right thing and he comes thru. i know my struggles will produce an abundant reward. God's promises r true!

so as i 'do my own work' and 'get on with my life', i am being an active participant in my blessings to come. God can do his thing becuz i am doin' what i can.

a few years ago, i sat on my butt and God had to move heaven and hell to get me to do something becuz of fear and doubt. but not now! i have been freed from that garbage and Yeshua has become not only my Savior but my Lord and King. i do not want to hurt him by being fearful and doubtful. my God shall supply all my needs and guide me where he needs me to go. all i do is keep as close to him as i can and receive the promises as tho they were already fulfilled. i see that when i have done this, things move in the right direction. walking in faith and by faith is an active participation. do i get it right all the time? nope! but i keep moving forward and seeking my Lord Yeshua. he isn't hard to find when i really look. :)

the clouds that have been hovering will soon be removed. when? don't know. but my God is good and i will ride fast and steady on my horse moving with my Lord and resting with him, too. when the wind gets too strong, i will find my shelter in Messiah and just be. my purpose will be fulfilled by his hand alone. i will praise the Lord in the midst of the storm clouds and worship him alone.

so as i get on with my life, ilean heavily on God's wonderful and true promises. i believe these promises and receive them into my life as they become flesh in God's perfect time.