where i am

 this is where i am right now. how do i know this is where i am right now? my fleshly me is wanting to "shut down" and do things my way. but i have been practicing a new way of doin' things. and this new way is much better.

in my bathroom, i have a shower curtain i see everyday. it has 4 scriptures on it:

Philippian 4:11; Psalm 9:1; Ecclesiastes 11:9; Philippians 4:4.

each of these scriptures r reminders to me that all i need to do is be content where i am becuz there is joy and happiness to be found in the waiting. and there r times that this requires me to apply each specific promise from God to me in every aspect of my life. when i see "nothing happening" there is actually something happening i can't see with my physical eyes. in the waiting is my training to seeing what God sees. he is training my eyes to not move away from his eyes. his eyes then become my thoughts and my victory. as i go about my day, God's eyes begin to strengthen my hands and my legs to stand more firmly on the Rock of Yeshua.

as i stand on the Rock of Yeshua, i find myself able to resist my fleshly yearnings and desires. God's Word and promises begin to be made flesh. and these promises r at first unseen by the physical eyes. the promises cause me to line up more acutely and accurately with Yeshua. i walk taller, more confident. i am not afraid to let go and let God be God no matter what people say or think. my thoughts and life r more solidly established on the cornerstone of Messiah.

my life is far from perfect. i still struggle. i still have "my days". i still need encouragement and help. one thing i have learned is that my story is not my own. it is God's story. no matter what it contains in the past, God already knows. he allowed it all to happen and now i don't worry about it. i am not the one who can judge rightly and fairly someone else. my story will make a difference and God wants me to live it out loud becuz it is his love story thru me.